Duri
After spending a wonderful Christmas in Nags Head, Mac and I returned to John Adams and the final semester of our senior year.
The amount of work both Mac and I put in during our that time kept us apart a lot, and, when we did meet friends and attend fraternity functions, I was shy about showing our relationship to everyone. Our friends didn’t seem surprised at all, but others were obviously shocked. It didn’t help that I kept catching wind of snide remarks from girls Mac had dated.
“No wonder he couldn’t hold onto a relationship with a girl for long. He’s gay!”
“This explains so much.”
And my favorite: “I knew he always had a thing for that guy!”
Mac had to have been aware of the gossip, but it seemed to roll off his back. I would have been more worried about it, but between my workload and trying to catch some sleep, I didn’t have the time. What did it matter, anyway? We were leaving in a matter of months and would probably never see most of these people again.
Mac and I had agreed we would both live in Boston after graduation, but there was the question of what Mac would do. After a session with his advisor at the school, Mac settled on applying for an internship with a local TV station. It was late to be doing it, and for a while we were afraid he wouldn’t get in. I’d never seen him so happy as the night he got the call that he’d made it and would be interning all the coming summer.
Before we knew it, graduation day was upon us. It rained, which meant the ceremony had to be held in the university gym and invitations would be limited. The restriction didn’t matter to me since, unsurprisingly, my father and stepmother couldn’t make it. I was hurt, but with Mac’s family all over me, I didn’t have a chance to feel alone for long. When his parents gifted me with a university ring just like the one they got for Mac, I burst into an embarrassing torrent of tears.
That weekend, Mac’s parents helped us settle in Boston. I had secured a job with the Chamber of Commerce weeks before as Assistant of Events and Program Coordinator. I was scared shitless.
It had been Mom Murdock’s idea that Mac and I live separately for a while, so we could both get a feeling of standing on our own. Mac was against it, but I really wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. Privately, I was also worried about taking our new relationship to the next level. So, Mac agreed to stay the summer in a tiny studio apartment near the TV station while he was doing his internship there, and I got a place on the other side of town closer to my job. The situation wasn’t ideal. Traffic in Boston was awful. But we could make it work for one summer.
On a Thursday evening in late June, Peyton called me. He’d gotten a job as a personal assistant on a ranch in East Texas, of all places, and was loving it. Well, I think it was more that he was loving Texan men in cowboy hats.
“I swoon on a daily basis,” he told me. “They don’t seem to know what to make of me, but my boss is a big LGBTQ advocate, so I don’t get any hate.”
“That’s good, but be careful. I worry about you. Your hair’s not pink, is it?”
“I’ll send you a pic.”
A few seconds later, I received a picture of Peyton lying on a bed with a navy spread, smiling sexily for the camera, his hair platinum blond.
“It looks great,” I told him truthfully.
“Thanks! Now, let’s get to the important stuff. I’ve barely been able to talk to you since graduation. How’s sex with Mac?”
“We aren’t even living together,” I reminded him.
“Oh, sorry, I forgot cohabitating was mandatory for having sex. Come on, Dur!” Peyton groaned.
“How’s your job?” I asked.
“Don’t change the subject. Oh my God, don’t tell me you haven’t done it yet! You’ve been together six months!”
“Six months of homework, exams, job interviews, and…and…” I left off, feeling defensive but unable to successfully build my case when we both knew the truth.
“Just admit you’re scared,” Peyton said.
“I’m not scared,” I said in a small voice. “I’m terrified.”
“Haven’t you done anything?”
“Yes, of course! But not…penetrative.” I whispered the last word.
Peyton laughed. “What, are you afraid the cat will hear you?”
I’d adopted a cat—or, rather, a cat had adopted me. His name was Rex.
“Hate to break it to you, Duri, if you’ve done stuff, you have had sex. Not everyone gets into penetration.”
“But I want to,” I said, pouting. I really did, but the thought scared me to death.
“Okay. What does Mac say about it?”
Fiddling with the corner of the sofa pillow, I said, “He hasn’t said anything about it. But he has to want to do it, right? He’s been with a lot of girls.”
“Don’t you think he’s the one you should be asking that question?”
I grunted, because obviously I should ask Mac, but that was part of what I was scared to do.
“What are you afraid of, exactly? And stop biting your fingernails. I know that’s what you’re doing,” Peyton said.
Jerking my hand away from my mouth, I clenched it in my lap and thought about his question.
“I guess I’m most afraid of being bad at it.”
“You can’t be bad at it. Be glad your a bottom.”
“But what if I don’t enjoy it? Even worse, what if he doesn’t? What if it hurts? What if I cry?” As I my voice got louder, Rex jumped off the back of the couch and into my lap. “Peyton,” I whined, “you’ve done it. Tell me how to be good at it. Please?”
“It’s different with me. It’s just casual sex. You and Mac are in love.”
“What about David?” I asked, referring to his on and off boyfriend of years. He was a douchebag, and Peyton had finally dumped him for good our junior year of college.
“He wasn’t want I’d call a considerate lover; let’s just leave it at that.”
“Oh. Sorry.” That actually wasn’t very surprising, knowing David. “So…you’ve never had good sex with someone?” I asked, starting to panic. If Peyton, who wasn’t afraid of his own shadow the way I was, had never enjoyed sex, I didn’t have much hope.
“I’ve had a couple,” Peyton mumbled. If I hadn’t been totally focused on my own problems, I might have latched onto the weird way he was acting and interrogated him. But I was completely oblivious.
“And? What made them good?”
The silence grew so long, I looked at my phone screen to see if the call had dropped. “Pey?”
“The attraction was strong. At least on my side. That should make you feel better. I know you’re physically attracted to Mac. Talk to him. Tell him what you’ve told me—that you want him to fuck you but that you’re scared. He’s a good guy. He’ll go slow. But keep in mind that things won’t be perfect. It’ll be special because you guys love each other, and hopefully it will feel good in the end, but the first time is never easy.”
“Okay.” Feeling a little better about my situation, my mind began to backtrack. “Who was your special person that you had great sex with?”
“Hey, Duri, I have to go,” Peyton said abruptly. “My boss is calling.” He hung up before I could finish saying goodbye.
For the rest of the afternoon, I continued thinking about everything Peyton had said. The following day was Friday, and Mac and I were meeting after work. I told myself I would talk to him then.  

****

Maybe I shouldn’t have picked a moment when Mac had just taken a big bite of pasta to tell him I wanted us to have penetrative sex. As he coughed in his napkin, eyes watering, I pounded him on the back, then handed him a glass of water.
After several long swallows, he rasped, “God, Squish. Give me some warning next time.”
I smiled. “I hope there isn’t going to have to be a next time.”
He eyed me warily. “How long have you had this on your mind?”
“A while,” I said sheepishly before hiding my face behind my water glass.
“Why haven’t you mentioned it before?”
Rubbing my thumb over the smooth handle of my fork, I said, “Peyton said I should tell you.”
“You’ve been talking to Peyton about our sex life?”
I looked up at him. He didn’t seem mad, just surprised.
“I don’t have anyone else to talk to about it,” I said.
“Uh, what about me? Aren’t I the obvious person?”
“I didn’t want to admit I’m scared” I muttered.
Mac’s hand covered mine on the table. “Don’t you think I’m scared, too?”
I looked at him in astonishment. “Why would you be afraid? You’ve done it lots of times!”
“Not with a guy.”
Oh.
“See—we’re both new at this. But if we talk to each other and take things slow, everything will be fine.” Mac squeezed my hand before going back to eating his ziti marinara. When I didn’t pick up my fork, he said, “We’ll talk about it back at your place. Finish eating, and tell me about your day. How did the project go?”
We tabled the conversation, but it remained at the back of my mind. I hadn’t thought about the fact that Mac had never slept with a guy before. It made sense that he would be nervous, too, and that made me feel a little better about it.
On the way home, Mac stopped at a drug store and went inside, coming out a few moments later with a bulky bag.
Tingling with anticipation and nerves, as soon as we got inside my apartment I asked Mac the question that had been burning in my mind since dinner. “What are you worried about when it comes to us having sex?”
Mac stopped petting Rex and approached me. Resting his hands on my shoulders, he said, “I’m most afraid of hurting you. I never want to hurt you. Just knowing you’re scared bothers me.”
“I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of the pain, or that I’ll do something wrong.”
“Okay, then it sounds like we have the same worries.”
He kissed me gently. I loved kissing Mac. I could get lost in it for hours. As I opened up for him, he drew me in closer, hands moving down my back and squeezing my ass. My breathing quickened. There was no question in my mind that I was ready to take the next step. Mac and I had gone from kissing to hand jobs to blow jobs over the past six months, and every fiber of my being wanted more. I wanted to feel him moving inside me. Heart hammering, I stood on my toes and deepened the kiss, drawing a groan from Mac’s throat.
“Do you want to be inside me, Mac?” I asked against his lips.
“Jesus, of course I do.”
I pulled back to look at him. “It won’t be like it is with a girl.” That much I knew.
Tapping my nose with his finger, Mac said, “Our sex life is about us and no one else. I want to touch you. Be close to you. It doesn’t have anything to do with what body parts you have or don’t have.” He ran his fingers over my chest, making me tremble. “I love the way your nipples get hard when I touch them.” He stroked both of them with his thumbs, and, even with my shirt as a barrier, my knees went weak.
Taking his hand, I said, “Let’s go in the bedroom.” My heart thumped wildly as we walked down the hall to the little bedroom in the back. As soon I was through the door, I stripped off my shirt and stepped into Mac’s arms. This kiss was considerably more heated than the last, with Mac’s tongue possessively sweeping through my mouth until I felt light headed.
“You’re skin’s so soft,” Mac said, nuzzling my ear. Abruptly, he dropped to his knees. As he grappled with the button of my jeans, I watched, barely able to breathe. I’d been hard since our first kiss, and when he took my cock out of my underwear, I couldn’t help but gasp.
Raising his head, Mac latched onto one of my nipples with his mouth, making me jerk. He smiled against my chest. Releasing my nipple, he moved to the other side, teasing me with his lips. I jutted my hips forward, seeking friction against my needy cock. Wanting the feel of his skin, I tugged at his shirt until he yanked it over his head and tossed it on the floor. Then his mouth trailed down my torso, lower, lower. I sucked in a breath he wrapped his lips around my cock.
“Mac,” His name came out on a sigh as I entwined my fingers in his thick, dark hair. If I was half as good at giving head as he was, I’d be satisfied. He was an absolute master at it. Which made me wonder something.
Swallowing, I forced myself to take a step back. “Were you nervous the first time you did this to me?”
Lips lusciously red and slick, Mac gazed up at me.
“Hell, yeah. I had to watch a shitload of gay porn before I did it.”
“Really?” I asked, eyes wide.
“It was Vlad’s idea.”
“You talked about it to Vlad?”
Mac looked sheepish. “I guess I can’t say anything about you talking to Peyton, can I? I just didn’t want to embarrass myself by doing everything wrong.”
I stroked his hair. “You did everything right. You always do. Your mouth feels so good on me.”
With fire in his eyes, Mac licked around the head of my dick before taking me into his mouth again and sucking until I arched my back. With slow bobs of his head, he brought me to release, and I came into his mouth. He always swallowed all of it, while I tended to spit out most of his spunk when I gave him head. Something about the consistency made me gag.
As I came back to myself, I loosened my hold on Mac’s hair with a soft apology.
Getting to his feet, Mac stripped off the rest of his clothes. He had such a nice body—toned with just the right amount of muscle mass. As he slipped off his underwear, I watched his cock spring up in an arch toward his belly.  Breath held, I trailed a finger over the head down the rippling vein to his balls, lightly covered in trimmed, dark hair. Mac made a sound half-way between a growl and a whimper, then groaned when I opened my mouth and took him in, making sure I kept eye contact with him. I knew he liked that.
As I sucked, Mac ran his fingers over my head, shoulders, and face as though I were made of the finest porcelain rather than skin and bone, all the while watching me with eyes that had deepened to a smoldering green. I did everything I’d learned he liked best over the past few months, pausing to run my tongue over his balls before taking him down again until I choked on his girth. The first time I did it, I was so worried about gagging and throwing up, I could barely enjoy myself. Now that I’d learned how much of him I could handle in my mouth, I was able to relax and enjoy myself as I listened to Mac’s breathing accelerate. Leaning his head back, he moaned loudly into the quiet room. I still couldn’t believe I could affect him this way. Before I could make him come, Mac slipped out of my mouth.
“Get up on the bed,” he said softly. Still soft and pliant from my orgasm, I stretched out on my back, head on the pillow, watching as Mac took lube and condoms from the drug store bag.
“We have to get you nice and loose,” Mac told me. “That okay?”
“How do we do that?” I asked, anxiety crawling up my spine.
“I’ll use my fingers.” Mac poured lube into his palm.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out, I clenched my eyes shut as Mac lowered himself beside me on the bed. His lips brushed gently against mine, and, after a moment, I relaxed and kissed him back. We lay there for a long time, exploring each other’s mouths, before I felt Mac nudge my legs open with his hand. By that time, I was lost in a haze of delicious need, so I eagerly complied, only to tense up when his fingers slipped down my taint to my hole. He massaged it, continuing to run his tongue through my mouth, and after a few seconds I got used to the sensation and melted back into the mattress. I was surprised that it felt good. There was a lot more sensation in that area than I would have thought.
But when Mac gently poked the tip of his finger inside me, I tensed.
“Hurt?” Mac asked against my mouth.
“No, it’s okay,” I said.
Rising onto his elbow, Mac looked down at me as he carefully rotated his fingertip inside me. I bit my lip, embarrassed and turned on at the same time.
“You’re blushing,” Mac said, studying my face intently.
“You have your finger in my butt.”
Mac laughed, and so did I, and the tension broke.
“I guess that would be kind of weird. Is it okay? Or do you want to stop?”
Mac’s hard cock pressed against my leg, but he was willing to stop what we were doing if I said so.
More than anything, I wanted to please Mac. What we were doing right now was okay. It didn’t hurt, it was just awkward.
“Keep going,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. Our tongues dueled, and I clenched my hands on his shoulders when his finger slipped inside me a little more.
Now, that felt really weird. But not bad. It was an intrusion, but it was Mac doing it and that made it better. Relaxing as much as I could, I let my legs fall open to give him better access as I nipped at his bottom lip with my teeth.
“I’m hanging on by a thread, here, Squish,” he said hoarsely.
Emboldened, I thrust onto his finger so that it slid as far inside me as it could go. Wincing, I wondered if I could handle another finger, but I soon forgot my fear when Mac started moving his finger in and out.
“Like that?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah.” Closing my eyes, I let out a breath while I adjusted to the feeling. Suddenly, he hit something inside me that brought my ass off the bed and my eyes wide open. “Oh!”
Mac stilled, a question in his eyes.
“That felt good,” I said, embarrassed.
Mac moved his finger again, and another luscious zip of pleasure ran from my balls to the top of my head.
Looking intrigued, Mac swiveled his finger inside me, feeling around, until my legs started to shake, I was so turned on. Every time his finger hit whatever it was inside me that felt so good, fireworks went off in my head.
Mac kissed my nose. “I love watching you like this.”
“Ma-ac,” I whined.
“What do you want, baby?” he asked softly. “Another finger?”
Biting my lip, torn between embarrassment and arousal, I nodded. He withdrew his hand and dribbled more lube into his palm. When he pressed two fingertips to my opening, my eyes widened.
“Oh my God,” I said as they began to slide in. “Wait. Stop.” I grabbed his forearm.
Mac stilled, watching my face.
“Just let me get used to that a minute,” I said.
“Okay. Let me know when you’re ready.”
Mac kissed my cheeks, my forehead, my chin, before his mouth took mine in a deep kiss.
“I love you, Duri,” he said.
I melted. “I love you, too.” Swallowing, I took a deep breath and let it out. “Okay. Go ahead. I’m ready.”
Carefully, Mac pushed his fingers farther inside me. It hurt a little, but the more I breathed and concentrated on relaxing, the less I felt the sting. And when he found that spot inside of me again, I shouted, hips jutting upward on their own accord. Mac’s kisses became frantic.
“I’m going to try three fingers,” he said, breathing hard. His pupils covered most of his irises. “Okay?” When he pushed his three middle fingers into me, I cried out. “Sorry. You okay? I’m going too fast. I’m getting so excited watching you—” He started to withdraw, but I stopped him.
“I like what you’re doing. Just go slow.”
Mac lowered his lips to mine, stroking me inside with his fingers at the same time. The stretch burned, but I was so turned on, I didn’t care anymore.
“Now, Mac. I want you inside me now,” I begged.
Removing his hand, Mac wiped it on the sheet before taking one of my legs and placing it on his shoulder. He did the same with the other leg, then met my gaze.
Heart pounding in my chest, I nodded, and waited as he rolled on a condom. Then he put the head of his cock to my opening. The intrusion this time felt different. His cock was larger than his fingers, but it was also a lot smoother. He slid home in one slow stroke, and I sighed.
I moaned. “Oh, my God.”
“Good or bad?” Mac asked tightly, sweat running down his cheeks.
“G-good,” I answered, squeezing around his cock experimentally. I liked the way it felt to be so full of him.
Mac caught his breath. “Fuck, Duri, oh my God.”
“Good or bad?” I repeated his words.
Mac laughed shakily. “Are you kidding me? You feel out of this world.”
I couldn’t help grinning. Putting my hands on each side of his face, I looked into his eyes and said, “Fuck me, Mac.”
 

Mac
When Duri and I first started dating, I’d been afraid I might have some trouble doing sexual things with a guy. Sure, I loved kissing Duri, but could I really do more when all I’d ever been interested in before was women? But I’d quickly found that giving Duri pleasure gave me pleasure, and our sex life had been satisfying up to this point. If Duri hadn’t wanted to, I would gone without ever having penetrative sex again, but he’d surprised me by bringing it up tonight over dinner. And now…now he’d said three words that had me frozen above him.
“Fuck me, Mac.”
My head buzzed, and I had to take a couple of deep breaths, willing my dick not to explode inside the tight confines of Duri’s body. Not only would a premature orgasm the first time we had sex be embarrassing as hell, but it would bring this glorious moment to a screeching halt, and I wanted to enjoy every minute of it.
Duri lay naked beneath me like the male version of a siren, his dark eyes heavy lidded. It was all I could do not to teeter over the edge then and there. Added to that, I was suddenly overflowing with feelings. Closing my eyes, I began to count backward from one hundred.
“Mac?”
I opened my eyes. The uncertainty I saw in his constricted my heart.
Trying to put my feelings into words, I failed miserably. “It’s just…a lot. You know?”
But he nodded slowly, as though he understood exactly what I meant.
“I just…I want to do this right, Duri,” I took a breath and rushed on, “But God, I’m so fucking turned on right now, I’m afraid if I move an inch everything will be over before it even starts.”
The next thing I knew, Duri had rolled us over so I was on my back and he was sitting on top of me, my cock still inside him. Only much deeper. He looked shocked, like he hadn’t expected how different the new position would feel. Experimentally, he wiggled around, and I sucked in a breath as ripples of pleasure ran through me.
Grasping his hips with my hands, I stilled his movements.
“I’m on a hair trigger, remember?”
“Sorry,” Duri said. He didn’t look sorry, though. A mischievous glint in his eyes, Duri slowly lifted his body until only the tip of my cock remained inside him, and then he just as slowly eased back down until our groins met.
“Ohmygod!” I said on a rush of air.
Then he did it again. And again.
Not in a million years did I ever think this night would end with sweet little virgin Duri bottoming from the top.
Waves of euphoria ran through me, and pretty soon I was moving with him, carefully undulating my hips on his every downthrust. Duri’s sensuous lips parted on quick breaths, and his head fell back as he braced his hand on my thighs.
“Is it…are you…okay?” I was still worried about hurting him.
In answer, Duri let out the sexiest moan I’d ever heard. Something snapped within me, and, tightening my hold on his waist, I planted my feet on the mattress and began to thrust into him until he was crying out in pleasure. I was losing control and beginning to think I’d have to finish him off with my hand, when Duri suddenly arched his back and came all over my stomach. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen and had me coming into the condom within seconds, grinding my hips into every upward thrust.
“I’m sorry. You’re going to have bruises,” I said a moment later as we lay panting on the sheets. My fingerprints were all over his hips.
“I don’t care,” he said, rolling to lay his head on my chest. “Your heart is beating so hard.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I wonder why.”
Duri looked up at me. “So, it was good? I mean, you liked it?”
“Did you think I was faking? That’s my cum leaking out of you, you know.”
Duri blushed and hid his face under my arm. Chuckling, I patted his silky black hair. “It was phenomenal. Are you hurting anywhere?”
He shook his head.
“Are you sure? I could get you a cold rag or something.” Besides the porn, I’d also read up on gay sex, but at the moment I couldn’t remember anything about aftercare.
“I’m good, Mac.” He peered up at me shyly. “I loved having you inside me.”
“You did?” My chest constricted. “Because I was going to say, if you didn’t like it, we don’t have to ever do it again. I mean, I enjoyed it, of course, but I enjoy everything we do together.” God, now I was babbling. Clamping my mouth shut, I continued to stroke Duri’s head.
“I really liked it,” he said against my chest. “At first it hurt a little, especially when I got on top, but then it got better and better. There’s, uh, this place you kept hitting that felt amazing.”
“I read about that. It was your prostate. A lot of men get pleasure from that kind of stimulation.”
He was silent a while, probably thinking about it. But then he surprised me by asking, “Mac, do you think you’ll ever miss being with girls?”
“What?” I pushed myself up to a sitting position.
“Squish. Why do you ask that? No, I’m not going to miss girls. I love you.”
He sighed. “It just seems like it’s all too much to ask. To have you after having a crush on you for so long. To be dating you, and what we just did together. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and realize it’s all been a dream.”
Pulling him close, I kissed the top of his head. “It’s not a dream. It’s real. We’re going to be together forever.”
He turned his dark gaze to me then. “Really? You really feel that way?”
“I really do,” I said emphatically. “Now, do you want to take a shower before we go to sleep?”
He scrunched up his face. “I am kind of sticky.”
Grinning, I got up from the bed and tugged him into the bathroom. I would soap him down, wash his hair, and then carry him back to our bed.
In a few months, when my internship ended, we would get a place together. No more living separately. I understood why Duri wanted to do it, but I was pretty sure that, by the time summer ended, he would be as ready as I was to be together all the time. Until then, we’d make the most of the weekends and the occasional weekday dinner, and I would sock away all the money I could from my paid internship. My supervisor had hinted it was likely they’d hire me full time afterward, and Duri seemed to be doing well in his job at the Chamber.
All in all, I thought as I tugged Duri into the shower after me, everything about the future looks bright.